9.13.23 // Being in Boston

Being in Boston brings me back.
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Back to a time when I lived in Washington DC and life was oppressive humidity, shapeless blazers, borrowed knee-length work skirts, Gchats laced with Buzzfeed quizzes, windowless cubes, and the early-20-something feeling of being invincible.
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Back to happy hours filled with calendar invites, decadent food tasted at restaurants I could barely afford, and no mountains to be found or even near the horizon.
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Back to friendships that were quickly made and deeply forged. Laughs had over beer pong in backyards, Halloween party dance floors, SoulCycle classes for free, precariously balancing cups on our heads, and Sunday “family” dinners that always kicked off with a board game.
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Back to a time when I felt not quite like myself but more like a bold experiment. I was a version of myself, but not truly myself. Learning, testing, failing, paying bills, falling in love, walking every street of Georgetown, and memorizing each front door like learning the veins on the back of my hands.
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Back to a time when I was searching for myself and unafraid to do so. I had no inhibitions or fears about what I might find. Only freedom. Freedom to change... to try on corporate city life, to try on preppy, to try on drunken kisses, late-night dance floors, and bar crawls for holidays that feel relatively insignificant as I've gotten older.
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Back to a time when I experienced a self I never would have if I hadn't given her the stage to act. A version of Liz that while wasn't quite "me," was also exactly me. Washington DC Liz never felt fully herself with no mountains and trails, but she unlocked beautiful aspects that are the real Liz and are pieces of me that I carry even if sometimes they are in conflict with my current existence. That version still comes alive with the energy of a big East Coast city, can't help but enjoy dancing at a dive bar, craves Sunday night dinners with board games, often balances random objects on her head, and finds deja vu and solace listening to music while sauntering down the traffic-ridden streets.
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So thank you Boston, for bringing parts of me back, for showing me glimmers of my usually dormant past.