3.8.21 // this is me

This is me.
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I've been doing these types of posts for over two years now.
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And when I reread some of those old posts, I still feel like the descriptions fit who I am today.
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But, it's undeniable, I'm not the same person I was when I posted those words.
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In this year alone, I've felt myself grow, drastic leaps away from old narratives, old plans, old paths, old friends, old expectations, old versions of myself.
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Sometimes it is painful, holding desperately to the old ways. But one thing I've learned is that holding on almost always ends with more pain in the long run than it would have in the short term if I had just let go.
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But this is me, right here and right now in March of 2021:
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A lover of the slow. A new convert and still learning the intricacies of how beautiful slow moments are, but enjoying every slow morning of playing cards and sipping coffee.
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A believer in my own voice and my capabilities. No longer a doormat for others to take advantage of or make me feel bad for the way I live my life. Passive-aggressive comments will no longer be excepted by people masquerading as friends. I will simply let the comments pass by me, same as the person who is unaware of cutting and judgmental words.
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A rebuilder of the fire inside me. Digging deep to find the younger me to heal the pains of my past but also listen to the desires of a potential future based on the innocent yearnings of that little Elizabeth.
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An owner of the anxiety inside of me for what it is for the first time. Taking time to understand my triggers and the triggers of those around me so I can better support myself and those in my circles.
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Still as enthusiastic as ever over a deep philosophical conversation, an impromptu dance party, or cuddles with Scout.
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Still learning to love running, but relishing in my body nevertheless, finding her beautiful and reminding her of that fact daily.