7.27.20 // An expired friendship...

An expired friendship...
.
Have any of you ever experienced this before?
.
The beautiful souls who used to fill your heart with love, your head with confidence, and your lungs with laughter. These souls disappearing into distant memories either by accident or by choice.
.
I had this happen recently.
.
I didn't realize, until I looked back on some interactions, that my friendship with this human no longer existed in the present. Perhaps we could have tried to string it along based around past shared experiences, but it felt wrong.
.
We have changed as people over the years. As I looked at the way he talked to me recently, I realized that this person was no longer a friend. If someone without the context of our past looked at those messages, it would be obvious that we were no longer friends, so far from friends that his stinging words could actually be seen as hatred- cold, distant, and lined with a gaslighting-like vocabulary.
.
But, we had so many memories and I deeply cared for this human for years... At what point do you choose to walk away?
.
That's not an easy question to answer, let alone ask...
.
However, my point to walk away was when I realized my feelings were being crushed from harsh words. When a casual conversation escalated to a point of tears welling my eyes and questions on my character, that's when I knew the sun had set on this relationship.
.
However, that doesn't mean the sun can't rise again.
.
My heart is always open for the sunshine to peek through the smallest of cracks, through doors that look closed, and through unlikely places.