5.9.23 // I Moved

I moved.
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To no one's surprise.
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But this time, it wasn't international, it wasn't changing countries or cities, it was a move 7 minutes across town.
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Since I was born in Plymouth, Massachusetts, I've moved consistently over the last three decades- hopping between US states, then eventually between countries. I have driver's licenses from Tennessee, Washington D.C., and California, and soon from Oregon. I have paperwork for my Canada residency and an EU residence visa in my passport. And these are just the documented parts of me that reflect the moves I've made.
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But these external parts of me, paperwork and documents, barely touch the surface of the versions of myself that came alive in each new home.
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It's impossible to stay the same when your surroundings drastically change. I have turned towards new horizons, and have always found moving to be an opportunity to shift, grow, and change.
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But as I've gotten older, and especially in the last several months, I've realized that a new horizon doesn't need to present itself for dramatic change and growth to occur. Yes, moving and changing your surroundings FORCES you to grow, but you can also choose growth while planting roots.
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Stability, consistency, and a rooted home are not the enemy of growth, it can be the foundation for healthy growth. To learn the meaning of community and routine, to see my yearning for growth as an invitation to look inward instead of constantly looking to my external world to reflect what I want inside.
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And what if I can find comfort in a familiar bed for deep sleeps, a place where Scout's toys have their own little basket home, and flowers from Trader Joes bask in the sun.  What if I found a place I can feel safe to grow, a place where I can use the walls to keep me safe, instead of having to create walls in my mind.
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So I moved, but I didn't move far, and I hopefully won't move far again for a while. I still have big dreams of the place I feel like my soul belongs (Chamonix), but for now, I'm breaking down my cardboard boxes, unpacking my duffle bags, and letting Scout scatter her toys wherever she wants​.