9.20.20 // this is me

This is me.
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It’s taken me almost 30 years to even begin to fathom the idea that life, this tiny existence we’re graced with, is so damn short.
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Not only am I just beginning to fathom this fact, but I’m only just beginning to act like I understand.
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For years, I’ve paraded through life like a masquerade. Pretending to live the “life is short” mantra, in that I had figured out how to be myself, own my truth, and savor every precious moment on this earth.
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But I wasn’t, I didn’t, and I had no idea what that even meant.
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Years went by of my words not matching my actions.
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Being in places, with people, working jobs, living other’s dreams, fitting into a box of who I should be.
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My god.
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What a mess.
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“Maybe in another life” is a phrase that is thrown around so casually. I threw it around so casually. (@glennondoyle beautifully illustrates this in “Untamed”).
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But we only have one life.
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Is it worth to throw that away for someone else’s needs, wants, understandings of the world?
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It’s not an easy mantra to fathom, let alone live...
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But I don’t want to let life slip between my fingers.
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I want to live.
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I want to live the truth.
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I want to live the truth of my life.