5.17.23 // "I'm Not Good Enough"

What is a story you tell yourself over and over?
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I have a few of them.
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"I'm not good enough" is probably the most pressing and damning narrative I have. So damning that, in the last year, the universe kept showing me the "truth" in that narrative. I started to believe the story I was telling myself so fully that the world mirrored back that belief in tangible, real-life ways.
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And the narrative of "I'm not good enough"  felt safe and comfortable. I worried if I believed differently then I would be seen as selfish, narcissistic, or entitled. It felt addictive to feel small, to feel like I was a constant work in progress, to feel like I'd always have to fight my way forward to be seen, loved, or respected.
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"No pain, no gain," right?? It even sounds like an addiction when I type it out: I need to struggle, I need to keep pushing towards growth to get better, and I could never be enough. Because, in reality, the standard for good enough is perfection. Not only does that not exist but the end goal is always moving as my understanding expands. The goalposts keep moving as I keep growing.
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But what about a new story if we rewrote the old narrative and broke the addiction?
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Liberation. Liberation is what would happen. You would free yourself from the shackles of expectations that keep you in the cycle of creating more of what you hate. I'm in this stage, but only barely, and I'm working on it by not "working" on it. Instead, I am trusting myself, expressing curiosity around my own inner self-judgment, and surrendering the rest of my addiction to enjoying the feeling of liberation.
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But, what if freeing yourself from "not being good enough" actually allowed you to be not just good enough, but allowed you to be more than you expected?
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How will you ever know if you never try... rewrite the narrative, let go of the old story, kick the addiction, and trust.
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You're more than enough.