11.5.20 // I think about you

I think about you.
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Do you think about me too?
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Sometimes I lose myself in the deep pools of your memories.
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The pools that are murky, uninviting, and usually covered with leaves from seasons come and gone.
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But, I wade into them anyway. Needling to think about you, not because I miss you, but because at one point these pools are where I spent my days.
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I wade in slowly, inch by inch, letting the cool waters lick at my skin. My footing is shaky since I can't see the ground, not knowing if I'll accidentally slip on a rock or step off a hidden ledge.
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Fear tingles up my spine as my hips are engulfed, and I ask myself why I'm wading into a pool so filled with death.
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I hold my breath and submerge into the darkness.
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Squeezing my eyes shut, the cold water losing its edge. The water begins to warm and I open my eyes.
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What was dark and dead is now clear and beautiful.
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Hidden beneath the surface of the pools is a world of love that once was, a world I used to know and cherish, a world with memories I have pushed away.
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Blue waters surround me as I remember the good.
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And at that moment, fully submerged in the pools of you, I remember that while the surface is dark, the memories basking below are still beautiful.