2.14.20 // Positive Role Models in Love…

Positive role models in love…
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This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.
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Looking back, I didn’t grow up with strong examples of relationships that were very admirable, let alone positive or healthy.
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To start, my parents divorced when I was 13 years old. I don’t fault them, they weren’t the right fit for each other and married very young. My mom, 20, and my dad, 24. That was the norm back then but I wonder if either of them truly knew who they were before committing vows to another…
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Beyond my family, when I looked at my friend’s parents I can’t say that any of their relationships were exceptionally strong examples either… Distant and formulaic love was what seemed to surround most of the “romantic” relationships I grew up with.
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I remember commenting to my mom how married couples in their 40s or 50s almost never touched. They never held hands, they never sat close, they never stole kisses with love glazed eyes or whispered secrets in each other’s ears. In place of this external display of love was a coldness that even an outside observer could feel…
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Positive role models in love seemed exceptionally hard to find in those formative years.
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Since then, I’ve had my own tumultuous narrative in love. Some great adventures with healthy conscious understanding and some intense misadventures with toxic control and communication left in unspoken actions.
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However, finding those role models in real life and on social media of what good, healthy, conscious love looks like is still extremely challenging. The relationships I’m seeing seem to be a highlight reel of pretend perfection…
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Social media is a beautiful way of bringing individuals in the human experience closer, I challenge the couples out there who are creating beautiful love with the highs, lows, and learnings, to share their experience.
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I’m ready for the societal narrative around romantic love to shift… We need those positive role models.
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In the meantime, two couples who are doing this beautifully are @santekotturi & @paigepenny and @sheleanaaiyana & @evolvingman.