10.5.22 // Stop Smiling

If I stopped smiling, would you notice?
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If you did, how would you notice it...?
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Would you notice the corners of my lips slipping downward as a frown slowly creeps across my face? Would you see the frown, would you wonder what shadow has fallen on my mind?
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Or would you only notice the lack of a smile? Would you see the lack and try to find solutions to fix my shadows, to make my eyes light up, to "fix" me in the less than perfectly assumed state I "should be" in your mind?
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The first reaction is curious- full of kindness, with me at the forefront.
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The second reaction is disinterested- condescending and demanding, with you at the forefront.
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I've seen my fair share of the second ones, the solutions that trickle in when my light isn't shining as bright, words to "remedy" or perspective to "shine a light" on my situation. Curiosity drying up faster than a rainstorm over a parched desert. Belittling shame scorching like the hot sand under foot.
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Humans are so deeply complex, but I'm convinced that it's in these small moments where who you are comes through, do you shine like the sun or do you burn like the sand? Do you give life-giving rain or do you parch the desert with disinterest?