10.17.21 // 10 years ago

10 years ago, I would have assumed by now, I would have had it all figured out.
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My view of the world was limited to the few paths I knew existed and my dreams were rooted in a series of boxes to check.
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20-year-old Liz thought that life in this world was just a ladder to climb, find a great job to turn into a career, have wild years in my 20s, meet my person, get married, have kids in my 30s, work in my 40s, settle in my 50s, and so on until retirement and then death.
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I was limited in my vision because I didn't realize that thinking outside the box in terms of how life is 'supposed to work was allowed. I thought this is what I had to do. This is it.
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But it isn't.
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We don't have to check the boxes, to follow the beaten path and keep our heads down- to centralize our lives around jobs.
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But I'm getting away from the main point... the thought that I would have it all figured out by 30, that 30 was "being an adult." What a wicked lie! Even thinking that 30 was "old" because 30, for society and beauty standards is "old." But it is actually just the beginning.
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30 feels like I'm capable- of seeing myself, of seeing perspective, of existing without a need to label myself or confirm to a group in hopes of being understood. I see that being understood is actually not even my responsibility.
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If I could I would go back and tell 20-year-old Liz my learnings? Honestly, no. It's the hard learning that has made the lessons that much more valuable.
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And I think deep down, no matter how many lessons I learn, I'll never have it figured out. So here's to letting younger Liz learn, and current Liz to do the same.