6.1.22 // A Test

Last weekend I ran a trail race after years away.
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It was meant to be a test...
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Did I like the racing environment? Was this something I could thrive in or at least find intriguing and exciting enough to push into? I thought I would walk away with a definitive answer.
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But that isn't how life works, is it?
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Life is not binary. Life is not black and white. In fact the test I was giving myself was an old Liz expectation- to be yes or no, this or that, in or out.
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And the real, current, present Liz is not one or the other- she is a little bit of everything.
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That was so evident in my trail racing experience.
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I loved it and at moments hated it, I found it hard and at moments I found it easy, I flowed easily and at moments I struggled.
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As I reflected back on the weekend and the test I gave myself, I couldn't help but laugh, I can't help but laugh even now.
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Life is just not that simple and how fucking exquisite is that.
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Life is complicated, Life is change, Life is color.