5.4.22 // Don't Let Them See You Sweat

Shame and "Effort."
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I listened to a Brene Brown podcast about the shame triggers around effort and it spoke to my soul.
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She talked about how there is a common misconception that if you have to work towards something, you must not be very good at it. In other words, you can achieve great things, but don't ever look like you're working for them (think, "I woke up like this").
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In the age of social media, effort and explanations of effort are lacking. Instead, we are inundated with beautiful or near-perfect faces, friendships, relationships, families, and places.
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What isn't shown? The effort behind each photo- the hours spent calling, texting, showing up for friends, the conflict and challenges that relationships have to overcome, the deep work of family relationships as they grow, the planning, traversing, and adventure to get to a new place, the countless hard days of training for a race or prepping for a test.
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Brene's words unlocked a shame trigger in me I didn't fully realize I had. It also unlocked my awareness that this thinking was permeating the culture I live in.
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How trying, struggling, attempting, failing, having off days, having sloppy days, having seasons of life of weakness or anxiety or exhaustion just aren't as readily mentioned in conversations right now.
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A lot of the conversations that we are having seem to hover around surface-level details around effort towards a goal instead of the deep, dark, blood, sweat, and tears. As if talking about the less-than-glamorous days will somehow jinx us instead of building vulnerability and repour.
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I am guilty of doing this especially when it comes to physical activity (which probably deserves its own caption). On Strava I filter the words that I write. I hold back talking about the hard parts or the messy, sweaty, often dark dug-up feelings that come during runs because I worry I'll bog others down or I'll be "less-than" in a world of the "amazing run!"
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"Don't let them see you sweat." Right?
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Well, I'm sweating a lot. And, often I don't even know what goal I'm working towards or why the sweat is rolling off my body. But I'm messy, I'm sweating and I'm trying (and failing A LOT).