10.20.21 // The End of an Era

The end of an era.
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It's the end of an era: the end of abroad living 2021.
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It's been 10 months of beautiful chaos.
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I started 2021 by building a home in Seattle, a great little home in the heart of Ballard. Taylor went to Italy to pursue his dream job. Then COVID regulations around entry into the US changed, resulting in a forced trip to Mexico to reevaluate the future (Taylor couldn't get back to the States, I couldn't easily get to Canada or Italy).
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If we wanted to continue our relationship, options were limited for how to proceed...
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So, I quit my job, the home I started to build, placed Scout in the most loving home for the time being, and gave up my car, the start of a community, and my familiarity to dive into the unknown.
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Moving to Europe full-time during a pandemic was hard. There isn't much more I can say about it without a long rambling narrative. However, I can say, that the challenges I faced on top of the abrupt pause of my life, was brutally hard. The photos and the memories are beautiful, but the stories behind them are laced with complications, subdued needs and wants put on hold, and feeling often like there was an invisible force pushing my hand.
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But here is the thing, even the hardest of circumstances become routine. Habits are formed even if they are born of challenge.
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So the end of an era is the uprooting of a life I've called home and the habits that came with it.
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I'm excited, but if I'm honest and vulnerable, I'm scared. I'm scared to turn the page, to feel the weight of my own ability for choices and to create a life that best fulfills my needs. I can no longer hold regulations, expectations, or things outside of myself as valid excuses for not living a life that I want.
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It. Is. Scary.
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But, I've also been waiting for this moment. I can feel the weight lifting and the freedom coursing back through my veins.
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I've always gravitated towards a non-traditional life in some respect or another and I don't think that is going to change, but change is coming and a new era is here.