10.7.20 // into the wild [part 1]

Ever since I was a teenager I've loved "Into the Wild".
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[part 1]
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I felt deeply connected to Christopher McCandless as an angsty teen frustrated by the system of how to live your life.
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After finishing the book and watching the movie, I would blast the soundtrack with the windows down in my 1994 Land Rover Discovery. I was 17 years young, wanting the take the road west and give the middle finger to my impending collegiate responsibilities.
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But, I didn't.
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I couldn't... right?
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I kept going, kept moving, kept checking the boxes, and progressing my life in a way that made sense to others.
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And to some extent, I'm still doing that. Breaking free of the "accepted and understood" to plunge blindly into the dark waters of the uncharted, is scary. And as humans, we crave comfort, safety, and routine.
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But, which is more terrifying: the jump into the dark or losing yourself in the system of the same?
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I don't want to lose myself. I want to honor myself. I want to respect my most true self, the 17-year-old Liz who was curious, enthusiastic, and loving.
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I need to remember that even in those dark waves of the unknown the universe will present people, places, and moments to comfort and protect me. Because I'm not drifting out to sea to drown, but to live.
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Not just live, but to thrive and come out of the darkness and into the light.