6.30.21 // jealousy

I love following badass females who write lines of words that dance in my mind hours and days after I read them.
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Today: @rachel.pohl
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A few weeks back, Rachel Pohl touched on her struggle with jealousy and her perspective shift.

Rachel explained that she was able to pivot her relationship with her jealousy and use it for her own self-knowing. In other words, she would note who and what she was jealous of and would see that as insight into her own subconscious.
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What an incredible way to view jealousy.
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For years, I viewed jealousy as some level of judgment- judgment of others, of myself for not having or doing enough, and then all of that would tumble down in a spiral of guilt. I would feel so much shame for judging others and myself, thinking I was trying to compete with others or be "better than” in a toxic way.
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Since I've read that post I have viewed my jealous pangs as something like a truth-teller. No more judgment, no more guilt, no more competition, no more shame.
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I should disclaimer, my current life is beautiful and is one that I've had the privilege to design for the most part. But I am human and I still get jealous.
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But since shifting my perspective, I've learned more about my subconscious yearnings than I would have learned otherwise. My voice is louder on what it wants because I no longer try and stuff down my jealous moments. Instead, I embrace my jealous moments with open arms like friends giving me advice on my hopes and dreams.
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I’ve known perspective-shifting is an incredible tool, but this was a wild realization and so clear to me once it was explained that I don’t know if I’ll ever slip back into my old ways...