3.16.22 // Out and Back

Out and Back.
.
I have always loved out and back hikes.
.
And for the longest time, I couldn't explain why.
.
Most of my friends (and especially Taylor), always urge for a loop hike. Their justification usually ends up being along the lines of "you get to see so much more!" or "you don't have to backtrack!"
.
And it wasn't until the other day when I was out on the trail that I realized why I love the out and back so damn much.
.
I had reached the "summit" of my mountain hike and after I took some deep breaths, felt levity in my soul, and let the sunshine kiss my face, I turned to head back down the way I had come.
.
The trail was relatively high on the mountain, so there was still a lot of snow coverage towards the top and on my way up I traversed through some icy patches, some soft snow, and some mushy muddy ground.
.
When I reached the soft snow I saw my footprints, and I followed them down to keep the soft flakes from getting in my socks.
.
But it wasn't until I saw the muddy patches of ground with my perfectly imprinted footprint that I realized why I love out and backs.
.
Seeing that footprint was like seeing a ghost, it was like seeing a past self that otherwise would have just disappeared to the wind. Sure, that version of myself lived in me, but to see her so clearly lingering on the surface of this beautiful earth was humbling.
.
I know that the old footprint will eventually shift into something new when the weather changes or new footprints come, but that moment of realization struck me like lightning.
.
Out and backs serve to remind us that who we are when we start and who we are when we finish are completely different people.
.
Even on the days when you might feel the same from start to finish, the growth and change is there. And with an out and back, you are forced to face the old version of you head-on.
.
You are face to face with the ghost of your own being and when we are always growing it's rare to have the opportunity to see the growth so evidently with our own tracks. And that is pretty damn incredible.