4.26.21 // selfish or self-care?

Selfish or self-care...?
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Not long ago, I was told I was selfish.
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I was told I was prioritizing myself, making life choices that put me first, creating boundaries that put my mental health over the actions expected of me.
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Now, I've been called a lot of things on this app, but being told this to my face was one of the most jarring experiences I've had in recent years.
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Thanks to therapy and the internet's rise of self-care culture, I've been stowing away an arsenal of materials for moments such as that. I reminded myself that I am not alone in my journey to chose this path and that it isn't going to be accepted by some people.
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But I couldn't help but think at that moment about the example of "putting your oxygen mask on first." We are taught that we need to put our oxygen masks on first before we assist others- the importance of putting ourselves first. Because can we really help others if we aren't taking in the flow of oxygen, prioritizing our needs, and using our intuitive self to make decisions? No...
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Each day we get the chance and the choice to decide how we want to show up on this earth. If we are not showing up as ourselves, are we really showing up?
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Imagine we are banks and each time we interact with someone we give them some of our currency (in the form of energy, time, or action). The only way we can refill our bank is by refilling our savings is to show up for ourselves. If we continue to overdraw our banks, we no longer show up as the best versions of ourselves. That's hardly fair to others and absolutely not fair to ourselves.
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So, while that comment jarred me, I felt really grounded knowing I was choosing to refill my bank and put into the world a calm, loving, and creative version of myself.
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For those of you out there putting on your oxygen mask first, you are going to make others mad, others who are used to you giving yourself endlessly. You are going to have to walk away from people that expect that of you. But you aren't alone if you chose to walk away, there is a world that exists of your own creation and people in the world who are waiting for, who will see you choosing yourself as a strength and not a weakness.
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We are out here, waiting for you.