12.22.20 // turning 30 [part II]

This week I turn 30.
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And with this turn of a chapter, I want to spend some time thinking about the past, the present, and the future.
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So here is part 2, a present view...
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I didn't expect to ring 30 in during a pandemic. No one expected to ring in their birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, or graduations this way, but here we are.
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It's not what I expected, but there are silver linings to this unexpected year.
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One of them being, a reevaluation of priorities.
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Did you know that the plural word "priorities" is a relatively new invention?
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The word used to only be singular, "priority." Signaling that your focus is on one main object, one "priority."
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I think this year has helped me get back to that singular use. Pushing aside the pressures of friends and family to progress in life, the societal guilt to always be busy, and the self-sabotage to keep my planner stacked, the pandemic forced me to stop and think.
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As I look around at the final days in my 29th year, I think I've been able to remove the "priorities" pressure and find the time and space to really put one thing in my vision as I need to throughout the day.
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I can't even begin to describe how different this mentality is from the year prior. My god... as one of my friends told me the other day, "your life gives me whiplash." And as I was moving into my 29th year I felt that deeply, but moving towards 30 has never felt more stable and calm...
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Don't get me wrong, there are about a million changes coming up in my life. But it doesn't feel chaotic. The energy feels calm, and I guess I have this time to slow down to thank for my ability to feel and sense, to work on my self and understand how I need to process change and my needs.
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So as I look around on my birthday, I see that this present view is nothing I could have expected but just might have been exactly what I needed.
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A true 30th birthday surprise...