11.26.24 // "Who do you want me to be?"

"who do you want me to be?"
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A refrain, a whisper, a question I've carried quietly for years, echoing through moments and places - work, family, friendships, a toxic ex.
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Lola Young's "Messy" has been playing on loop, its thread pulling at the same question: "who do you want me to be?" The answer always seems to shape-shift, asking me to be small enough to fit expectations.
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Appreciated—until I’m inconvenient.
Admired—until I’m too much.
Cherished—until I ask for more.
Respected—until I’m unyielding.
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But here’s to the truth of it: We are all those things- challenging, taxing, demanding, difficult. And in those imperfections lies something whole, something real.
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We are not perfect.
But we are, undeniably, beautifully enough.