12.19.22 // Choices

I revel in choice.
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The big ones and the small ones.
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But, It's been a long time since I've properly reveled in the beauty of choice. A long time since I've seen each choice as freedom instead of debilitating, crushing expectations with the potential for failure.
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I know I'm not alone in this fear. It has haunted a lot of us for the last several years. Even with the world opening back up, I avoided choices, hiding behind others, and looked to friends and family to make decisions about me and for me.
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Do you want a recipe for losing yourself? A recipe for resentment at your own hands? A recipe for silencing your words so much that you have to relearn the power of your own voice?
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Well, what I've been doing, that's the recipe. It's a recipe I'm responsible for. It's a surefire way to lose yourself and put immense strain on the community of humans who surround you, who want nothing more than for you to be yourself (and not a Frankenstein version of their accidental creation).
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The remedy to this messy recipe?
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Choices. Decisions. Exercising my voice. Creating boundaries. Owning my needs. Putting myself first. Trusting my intuition. Surrendering to the ebbs and flows (wins and failures) of life.
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The remedy isn't pushing it down or getting rid of the fear... It is sitting in fear and taking the reigns of my own life.