5.23.22 // Enduring

"Just because you can endure, doesn't mean you have to."
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Such a simple phrase, but I think for me and culturally at large, this phrase isn't celebrated to the extent it should be.
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There is beauty in stopping, of seeing a situation that is causing you friction, and then seeing yourself out instead of forcing growth, change, or additional suffering.
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I think there is tremendous growth in adversity, but I don't know if adversity is something you need to live in consistently in order to grow. I also don't know if you need to withstand adversity if in your gut the feeling of adversity is bad or leaving you feeling less than yourself.
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This is something I've struggled with as a recovering perfectionist. Because enduring is like some twisted badge of honor, "I can SUFFER better than most!!" or "I refuse to 'fail' so I'll just keep going even if it feels bad!"
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But choosing not to endure doesn't imply failure, if anything it's a huge win.
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It's seeing that you're out of the flow and getting back into your river of flow so that you can handle the rapids you are actually meant to endure, not the ones you are "shoulding" yourself into enduring.
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In the last several months I've realized I pushed myself to endure some things that have actually felt quite "off" for me and not in a hard way, but in a "this is not a Liz" way. I've noticed the events that left my gut questioning are events or expectations that led me more away from myself, that made me feel less like who I am deep down and more of who others expect me to be.
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But I don't have to endure. And neither do you.
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We can do hard things, but we don't have to do every hard thing.