4.4.21 // pull towards something

I find myself in the streets of Rome trying to make sense of the pull I feel towards something, something else.
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It's not something I can articulate in my spoken words.
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Endless conversations about what I'm thinking and feeling are lined with expectations that I need to know what I want next.
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It's exhausting.
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To try and find the words to describe feelings that are sometimes no more than that, just a sense, a sense without context or explanation or justification.
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But why isn't our gut feeling enough? When were we taught to distrust our gut? To root out our intuition like a weed and burn it along with our old feelings and thoughts we're told no longer serve us.
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A tragic forest fire, with expectations to clear room for new growth... but the old-growth was still producing, beautiful fruits of feelings and understanding.
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Even when the words allude us, the feelings are still there. Our bodies hinting at our subconscious wants and needs through our reactions, a calmness in the mind, a tightness in the shoulders, a grumbling belly.
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But we remove our connection to these signs, ignore the language of our body, and shrug our shoulders when we feel the pull towards something that is manifesting not in words, but in a sense.